It matters not whether we live another century or another second, but only whether our actions now and next are the authentic reflection of our will.

Whether good or ill, assuming we can even tell the difference, what happens to us at any point and over time is attributable to accident of birth, fortune of circumstance and exercise of will (or non-exercise thereof, which is the same thing). In what proportion: who knows? Our fate and our will will never be sorted as actors. No matter, outcome as such must always be accepted. Its only value after the fact is how it informs the will. So, what we do in each instant is all that matters. In each moment, our choice is the sole measure. Whatever the outcome, success is not the outcome, but the quality and basis and courage of the choice. In this sense, that is, the availabilty of choice to all, regardless, equality exists in nature. If we accept this, then fulfillment (is this not happiness?) is fully within our control, and it matters not whether we live another century or another second, but only whether our actions now and next are the authentic reflection of our will.

5 Steps to Building Great Business Relationships

I reflected on this and other business relationships that were similar.  I looked backwards to see what was different about them. In the process, I identified five steps that lead to someone having an emotional stake in my professional success:

First, and somewhat obviously, they must like you. You can’t move very far in any relationship without this basic prerequisite. Being likable or not seems binary, but there are ways to make yourself more likable. You can also go about specifically trying to accomplish getting people to like you more. Go out of your way to be friendly and helpful.

Second, they must respect you professionally.  They must look with admiration at how you do your work, how you behave, and how treat others.  Specifically, are you competent? Are your professional? Do you follow up? Are you among the best at what you do?  Work hard at getting them to respect you.

Third, they need to admire your “whole person”—not just who you are at work. This only happens as your relationship begins to migrate outside the workplace. Maybe you’ll attend a ballgame together, or go to a concert or dinner, often one on one. You’ll spend quality time learning about each other. Over time, as you get to know people better, other aspects of their life become part of the conversation. Are you active in church or charity?  Do you volunteer?  If you have children, how much time do you spend with them? Are you living a life worthy of others’ respect?  Once this step has been accomplished, the other person will be genuinely happy and interested to hear of your success and accomplishments.  There will be no resentment or jealously.

Fourth, your lives start to mingle more deeply.  As this happens, it becomes natural to invite spouses, significant others, and children to your out of office interactions–things like cookouts, hikes, boating, etc. You’re spending quality time together really getting to know each other—and a friendship is really budding. At this stage, not only are they happy for your success, but they are willing to actively contribute to it. They may provide a job reference, invite you to an important conference, or set up a meeting with a peer of theirs at another company. At your initiative, they burn some political capital, happily, to help you out.

Fifth, you maintain the intensity of the relationship, over time, even after the business relationship is no longer necessary. Consistency and longevity are key. This is where lots of people fall off—once the business benefit disappears, they can’t “find time,” and the relationship fades away. After all the work they put in the relationship, just as it’s about to becomes the most valuable, they turn the dial down or off.

I’d gone through all of these steps with the investment bank CIO, and that’s why he’d sought approval to make a big year-end order well ahead of schedule. It’s also why, even after I left that sales rep job, we kept in close touch.  Years later, he attended a family wedding. More than 20 years after that holiday order, I wrote a reference for his son’s business school application.

Good relationships and trust are the lubricants of a successful career and a well-rounded life.  But it’s important not to pursue relationships cynically. Just as you need to get people to like you, these relationships are only really worth pursuing with people you genuinely like. There are enough people out there are really likable to not have to fake it.

Fear is Good

Fear of the unknown: Fear is information, its brains way of identifying on things that we are ignorant, so we need to seek them. Let that fear be a trigger for curiosity.


As long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you're on the right track. A life oriented toward discovery is infinitely more rewarding than a life oriented toward not blowing it.

Fear sharpens you, challenges you and make you better.

Trust yourself. Trust that you will figure will out by living though it. Get out there and live. Trust your love, trust your passion, trust your instinct and trust your empathy.

Doing what you love

Michael Uslan (one who made all the Batman movies):
1. Sometime have to take calculated risk and roll the dice. 
2. Must believe in yourself and your work ( don't believe them when they say, how bad or wonderful your are)
3. Market your self
4. Have a high treshhold for frustatation. Fights till your knucles bleed.
5. Find your passion and just do that. Do what your love, so that you can wake up one rainy monday morning that you cannot wait to go to work.

Even this shall pass...

Some moments, some days I feel down...but I know the moment will pass. Even this shall pass.....

Happiness

“The great source of both the misery and disorders of human life, seems to arise from over-rating the difference between one permanent situation and another. Avarice over-rates the difference between poverty and riches: ambition, that between a private and a public station: vain-glory, that between obscurity and extensive reputation. The person under the influence of any of those extravagant passions, is not only miserable in his actual situation, but is often disposed to disturb the peace of society, in order to arrive at that which he so foolishly admires. The slightest observation, however, might satisfy him, that, in all the ordinary situations of human life, a well-disposed mind may be equally calm, equally cheerful, and equally contented. Some of those situations may, no doubt, deserve to be preferred to others: but none of them can deserve to be pursued with that passionate ardour which drives us to violate the rules either of prudence or of justice; or to corrupt the future tranquillity of our minds, either by shame from the remembrance of our own folly, or by remorse from the horror of our own injustice.” 

Adam Smith

When our ambition is bounded, it leads us to work joyfully, when our ambition is unbounded it leads us to cheat, steal, be unethical. When our fears are bounded, it makes us cautious, prudent. When our fear are unbounded and over blown, we become reckless and cowardly.

Our longings and worry are to some degree overblown because we have to some degree within us the capacity to manufacture that we constantly chase i.e happiness. Too much choices we cannot manufacture happiness.

Fear and pride

Fear and false pride goes hand in hand.
So focus on the process and not on the outcome

Life's game is in inches, so be pace yourself....