It matters not whether we live another century or another second, but only whether our actions now and next are the authentic reflection of our will.

Whether good or ill, assuming we can even tell the difference, what happens to us at any point and over time is attributable to accident of birth, fortune of circumstance and exercise of will (or non-exercise thereof, which is the same thing). In what proportion: who knows? Our fate and our will will never be sorted as actors. No matter, outcome as such must always be accepted. Its only value after the fact is how it informs the will. So, what we do in each instant is all that matters. In each moment, our choice is the sole measure. Whatever the outcome, success is not the outcome, but the quality and basis and courage of the choice. In this sense, that is, the availabilty of choice to all, regardless, equality exists in nature. If we accept this, then fulfillment (is this not happiness?) is fully within our control, and it matters not whether we live another century or another second, but only whether our actions now and next are the authentic reflection of our will.

5 Steps to Building Great Business Relationships

I reflected on this and other business relationships that were similar.  I looked backwards to see what was different about them. In the process, I identified five steps that lead to someone having an emotional stake in my professional success:

First, and somewhat obviously, they must like you. You can’t move very far in any relationship without this basic prerequisite. Being likable or not seems binary, but there are ways to make yourself more likable. You can also go about specifically trying to accomplish getting people to like you more. Go out of your way to be friendly and helpful.

Second, they must respect you professionally.  They must look with admiration at how you do your work, how you behave, and how treat others.  Specifically, are you competent? Are your professional? Do you follow up? Are you among the best at what you do?  Work hard at getting them to respect you.

Third, they need to admire your “whole person”—not just who you are at work. This only happens as your relationship begins to migrate outside the workplace. Maybe you’ll attend a ballgame together, or go to a concert or dinner, often one on one. You’ll spend quality time learning about each other. Over time, as you get to know people better, other aspects of their life become part of the conversation. Are you active in church or charity?  Do you volunteer?  If you have children, how much time do you spend with them? Are you living a life worthy of others’ respect?  Once this step has been accomplished, the other person will be genuinely happy and interested to hear of your success and accomplishments.  There will be no resentment or jealously.

Fourth, your lives start to mingle more deeply.  As this happens, it becomes natural to invite spouses, significant others, and children to your out of office interactions–things like cookouts, hikes, boating, etc. You’re spending quality time together really getting to know each other—and a friendship is really budding. At this stage, not only are they happy for your success, but they are willing to actively contribute to it. They may provide a job reference, invite you to an important conference, or set up a meeting with a peer of theirs at another company. At your initiative, they burn some political capital, happily, to help you out.

Fifth, you maintain the intensity of the relationship, over time, even after the business relationship is no longer necessary. Consistency and longevity are key. This is where lots of people fall off—once the business benefit disappears, they can’t “find time,” and the relationship fades away. After all the work they put in the relationship, just as it’s about to becomes the most valuable, they turn the dial down or off.

I’d gone through all of these steps with the investment bank CIO, and that’s why he’d sought approval to make a big year-end order well ahead of schedule. It’s also why, even after I left that sales rep job, we kept in close touch.  Years later, he attended a family wedding. More than 20 years after that holiday order, I wrote a reference for his son’s business school application.

Good relationships and trust are the lubricants of a successful career and a well-rounded life.  But it’s important not to pursue relationships cynically. Just as you need to get people to like you, these relationships are only really worth pursuing with people you genuinely like. There are enough people out there are really likable to not have to fake it.

Fear is Good

Fear of the unknown: Fear is information, its brains way of identifying on things that we are ignorant, so we need to seek them. Let that fear be a trigger for curiosity.


As long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you're on the right track. A life oriented toward discovery is infinitely more rewarding than a life oriented toward not blowing it.

Fear sharpens you, challenges you and make you better.

Trust yourself. Trust that you will figure will out by living though it. Get out there and live. Trust your love, trust your passion, trust your instinct and trust your empathy.

Doing what you love

Michael Uslan (one who made all the Batman movies):
1. Sometime have to take calculated risk and roll the dice. 
2. Must believe in yourself and your work ( don't believe them when they say, how bad or wonderful your are)
3. Market your self
4. Have a high treshhold for frustatation. Fights till your knucles bleed.
5. Find your passion and just do that. Do what your love, so that you can wake up one rainy monday morning that you cannot wait to go to work.

Even this shall pass...

Some moments, some days I feel down...but I know the moment will pass. Even this shall pass.....

Happiness

“The great source of both the misery and disorders of human life, seems to arise from over-rating the difference between one permanent situation and another. Avarice over-rates the difference between poverty and riches: ambition, that between a private and a public station: vain-glory, that between obscurity and extensive reputation. The person under the influence of any of those extravagant passions, is not only miserable in his actual situation, but is often disposed to disturb the peace of society, in order to arrive at that which he so foolishly admires. The slightest observation, however, might satisfy him, that, in all the ordinary situations of human life, a well-disposed mind may be equally calm, equally cheerful, and equally contented. Some of those situations may, no doubt, deserve to be preferred to others: but none of them can deserve to be pursued with that passionate ardour which drives us to violate the rules either of prudence or of justice; or to corrupt the future tranquillity of our minds, either by shame from the remembrance of our own folly, or by remorse from the horror of our own injustice.” 

Adam Smith

When our ambition is bounded, it leads us to work joyfully, when our ambition is unbounded it leads us to cheat, steal, be unethical. When our fears are bounded, it makes us cautious, prudent. When our fear are unbounded and over blown, we become reckless and cowardly.

Our longings and worry are to some degree overblown because we have to some degree within us the capacity to manufacture that we constantly chase i.e happiness. Too much choices we cannot manufacture happiness.

Fear and pride

Fear and false pride goes hand in hand.
So focus on the process and not on the outcome

Life's game is in inches, so be pace yourself....

My journey

I feel my journey has just begun. Guided by introspection, empowered by hard work and driven by my vision to be better everyday.

Every time we face hard choices, we define our reasons and provide value to things which we love to it. Introspect. reflect on the choices we make everyday. Our choices create our identity and identity will define us.

Calm

Today I felt this unnatural calm. I have focused only on the process.
Not on the outcome. I did not think about the future. I was more conscious of our doing my job road and that's about it and that was enough stopping my did wind was calm and my body was energize the something about it.
All I can say is focus on the process process of the process that's the only thing that matters the only real can affect the outcome outcome was not and I will confirm with the processes all our hard work should be focused.
Just like to say good night and sleep tight

Alpha Male

Rules of Alphas skills:

If you act alpha you will be alpha

Make your self look big
Masters those meetings
Ace the space around you
Make sure to use your voice
Make sure to get those girls
Fake it to make it, if necessary
Keep his group and his position safe

Key human needs

1. Need for significance. Ego. Making yourself important
2. Need for security...feel safe. Feel certainty
3. Need for uncertainty...need for surprise
4. Need for connection...being part of group
5. Need for growth...create stories that can share....

Feedback

Feedbacks are very important for life:

Precious feedback we receive from people:

- Selfish ...self centred...

- Not people smart.....it is the choice of words that is important...to make the other people happy...all the time, all the time.....

Excellence over perfectionism

What separates these two? In my opinion, the pursuit of excellence and perfectionism are closely related, but produce measurably different results. They also create measurably different environments. Join me as we review a few of the dynamic differences in the two. My goal is that if you are a perfectionist, you will see a different point of view; if you are a person striving for excellence, you will continue to strive.
Personal excellence is all about “Doing the Right Thing Right”. It is focused on the REASON for a task, and the RESULTS necessary for it to be a success. Perfectionism is focused on “Doing the Thing ‘Right’”, and is focused on the APPEARANCE of a task, and worries about if OTHERS think it’s done right. In the pursuit of excellence, there is not the sacrifice of self-esteem that is found in pursuing perfectionism.
Perfectionism can be a thief of your time, a drain on your physical and emotional energy, and an internal bully. On the other hand, the pursuit of excellence keeps you focused on the things that matter, energizes you and can serve as an internal cheerleader.
Perfectionism costs you effectiveness, efficiency, productivity, and most importantly – peace of heart and mind. On the other hand, productivity is practically a “built-in” feature of the pursuit of excellence.

Perfectionists, when they run into difficulty, get easily overwhelmed and give up. On the other hand, pursuers of excellence experience temporary disappointment, but they keep going.
Perfectionists can be devastated by failure; pursuers of excellence learn from it.
Perfectionists remember mistakes and dwell on them. Pursuers of excellence correct mistakes and learn from them.
Perfectionists want to be number one. Pursuers of excellence can live with not being the best, especially when they know they’ve tried their hardest.
Perfectionists hate criticism; pursuers of excellence see criticism as a way to learn.
Perfectionists have to win to keep high self-esteem. Pursuers of excellence can finish second and still feel good about themselves.


Here are some characteristics that define if you are a perfectionist vs. a person who strives for excellence:

1. “Win or Lose” mentality – perfectionists and excellent thinkers alike set high goals and reach for them; however, a person striving for excellence can and will be satisfied with doing a great job, even if their very high goals aren’t completely met. Conversely, perfectionists will accept nothing less than, well - perfection. ‘Almost perfect’ is seen as failure. This breeds within a perfectionist something that surprises most people: low self-esteem.
2. Unrealistic Goals or Standards: Sadly, a perfectionist’s goals often aren’t even reasonable. While people pursuing excellence set their goals high, perfectionists often set their initial goals out of reach, compounding their exacting measures of success with impossible goals. Because of this, those in pursuit of excellence tend to be not only happier, but also more successful than perfectionists in the pursuit of their goals.
3. Focus on Results: Those people focused on excellence often enjoy the process of chasing a goal as much or more than the actual reaching of the goal itself. They see the value of learning along the way. Conversely, perfectionists see the goal and nothing else. They’re so concerned about meeting the goal and avoiding the dreaded failure that they can’t enjoy the process of growing and striving.
4. Fear vs. Joy: Perfectionists are fueled by fear: fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of _______ (fill in the blank). When your focus is on excellence, there is an internal joy at doing something meaningful, becoming smarter, stronger and more powerful.
5. Procrastination: It seems paradoxical that perfectionists would be prone to procrastination, as that trait can be detrimental to productivity, but perfectionism and procrastination tend to go hand in hand. This is because fearing failure as they do, perfectionists will sometimes worry so much about doing something imperfectly that they become immobilized and fail to do anything at all! This leads to more feelings of failure, and a vicious cycle is born.

So, what’s to be done? Any type of change requires a shift in thinking on your part. If you find that you tend to be a perfectionist, remember that your struggle to be perfect focuses your attention on what's wrong or what's not working rather than seeing the good that you’ve done. A focus on excellence keeps your eyes on what’s working well, and enables you to be fueled by your successes.
First – you have to believe that you have value, and that the skills you have are valuable. You have to learn to forgive yourself when you make a mistake, and use that as a learning process.
Second, shift your thinking to RESULTS, effectiveness, and impact. When you worry less about what color the paper is and focus your attention to what is ON the paper, you will be making a baby step toward the pursuit of excellence.
Finally, in your quest to “tame” your perfectionism, consider this – the pursuit of perfection will ultimately be the foundation upon which your failure to live will be built. The pursuit of excellence will be the cornerstone upon which your healthy, thriving life will be built.

True Grit

Grit: Relentless dogged perseverance

in Tennyson's words: seeking, striving, finding and never yielding!!! never yielding.

Grit is an attitude...an attitude to never give up, never, never ...

seeking excellence and not perfection... in fact perfection can be barrier to success.

to succeed and be truly gritty give up the fear of failure...just persevere...

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strived valiantly; who errs, who comes again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly"

today

1. Sometimes we need to swallow our pride. When individuals enter the work force, they are commended for their technical skills, but later their career progress depends on their interpersonal skills.

2. Good planning is important, but implementation is everything.

The Rythym

....its the music that each one of us hears

its the heart that takes us forward.....

the rithym need not be too fast or too slow...its just needs to take you the distance...thats all that matters....crossing the ocean with a smile......so find your pace ...find your way..find yourself.......

The secret

The secret....

Trust yourself...Who do you want to be....What makes you happy....

Break the rules....think outside the box.....

Dont be afraid to fail....fail forward.....

Dont listen to the naysayer.....

Work your Butt off ( leave no stone unturned!!!!! ) Most Important

Give something back.....

Who would you bet on

1. Write your life down, whatever you think, what ever you have done, what ever you read ( a summary)

 -We are a sum total of all the experiences of our life. Let your diary align to your interest.

2. Energy: A biased towards action.

 -Tool - Never think more than one step, swim - Stoke stroke breadth...do not let your mind jump forward.

 -World is full of good intention!! Biased to action.

 -Failure is repeated bad decision, Success the is repeated consistent good habits..

  -Being 100% present.

  - Dont stare at the marsh mellow (make the small changes)